The View on Troubled Teens #4 School

The school portion of this article is obviously a very integral/important part of the "troubled teen" discussion. Schools tie into the social life, family life, any diagnoses, and many times are the place where substance use is first introduced/tried. There are an innumerable amount of discussion points on how to positively "help" your student as they work through school. I would like to briefly point out the ones where MMYR has seen the most success.

#1 Support your teachers, principals, and staff. This is a difficult one due to parents wanting to protect their sons/daughters. When you receive a phone call/email from the school about your son/daughter and they are in trouble-believe the teacher, principal, or staff. Your student has their own view and sometimes may not being trying to manipulate you, but they need to learn how to handle consequences for their actions. Many times this will also be a consequence for the parent, but that is just part of the deal. If you rescue your student once, it will not be the last time. A detention, suspension, or other consequence should be a "learning" point about how to act in school and not a "learning" point that I can manipulate my parents against the teacher, principal, or staff member that supposedly does not like me.

#2 Know your students teachers, principals, staff, and their friends. This makes it much easier for you to do #1 and their social group. I am not writing about parent teacher conferences. Actually meet them and speak with them about your student. Listen to their view in a non-defensive direction and ask how you can support them.

#3 Encourage your student to participate in extracurricular activities. This can be sports, music, art, etc... and also gives you the ability to learn about them and their social group. It is very important for parents to support those activities in a healthy way. Go to games, concerts, activities. Do not over-involve in those activities.

#4 Set boundaries for your student around school. These can involve academics/grades (must have B's to play sports), returning home immediately following school, practice, etc..., and behavioral goals (no detentions, tardies, negative reports) without consequences.

In short, if you know your school and who your son/daughter is involved with it will allow you to impact their positive/negative experience while enrolled. Remember, the school is not the enemy or "out to get" your student. If you rescue them, they will not learn anything other than you will "rescue" them from something that may teach them a lesson!